I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
