..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
