my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize