No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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