he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
