That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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