Got a toothbrush?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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