Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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