Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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