I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
this will be a night to untag.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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