Sacagawea was the original milf.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
