do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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