he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize