are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
