you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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