The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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