I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
