i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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