I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
