Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
