What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
