There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
