You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
