do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
ttyl tear gas
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
