Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
