Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
