Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
