I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
