I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
