he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize