So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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