careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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