I just saw a hot homeless man
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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