They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
