i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
