So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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