I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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