This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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