Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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