He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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