well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
