Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
