we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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