Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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