at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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