OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
