To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize