dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
