This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
