I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
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