man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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