My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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