so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
