Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
