How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
