I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
