i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
