someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
