I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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